As we start to clean up our diets, cleanse, get rid of our toxic cleaners and beauty products we need to look at our tampons/pads too. Monthly menstrual products are necessary for women, unless your already using menstrual cups. We spend a lot of money on them and I bet you we all have our favorite brand/style. What you don’t realize is that the technology for these products is very advanced, that might sound silly but it’s true. They are more absorbent, moisture wicking and leak proof than EVER before. Chemicals and plastics are what make these products work well.  With that technology and the fact that cotton is one of the largest GMO crops, it makes sense to go organic. If that doesn’t persuade you enough, just know that most people are allergic to GMO’s and it causes all types allergic reactions that we might not associate with menstrual product use. You might not even see the effects now but after decades of use these chemicals can cause infertility and recurrent miscarriage. Studies have shown Dioxin- like agent orange (we used in war to kill trees) is found in tampons. I don’t believe this is an added chemical in production but somehow in growing/managing the crop of cotton it is present after production. Having that in these products is dangerous. They cause birth defects in babies and change the chemical balance of our very important vaginal PH. A study from 2012 was done to show the chemicals and toxins in tampons/pads cause infertility and CANCER! Why this isn’t mainstream knowledge is saddening but also just a part of our culture. Don’t take my word on it please click the link above and check out the data!

Just think about it. These products come in contact with our most private parts. If you wouldn’t eat those chemicals/toxins you really shouldn’t put it in your vagina. Your body absorbs those the same way as if it were in your mouth!!! From the packaging they are wrapped in, to the wings on pads and the tape that makes them stick, there are a lot of different toxins at play. They are all endocrine disruptors.
The good news is there are great brands of organic tampons and pads that work well. Even better, the brand CORA helps women in our country and abroad to have access to sanitary products. Every order you place, they send products to those in need. On top of that they hire at risk women in the U.S. to give them opportunities for better lives! You can even have them shipped to your house monthly to make it impossible to ever have to run to the store for the toxic brands. My favorite pads/panty liners are from L. Organic (I found them at Target) they also give to women in need with every purchase you make! Hooray for women helping women!!!! I mentioned above that there are menstrual cups that can take place of tampons and pads. I personally didn’t have luck with them because of my body shape. Please don’t let that detour you. I know many women who use them and LOVE them. The most popular is Diva Cup. They have different sizes and other companies have different shapes that might work better. There might be a day that I switch to this but for now I am happy with my chemical free tampons.

If you enjoyed this information you might like my blog on Natural Hormone Balancing through Seed Cycling or my blog about Your Menstrual Cycle. I will be putting out a blog soon about why it can be very helpful to get OFF birth control!

I want to focus on helping you build a great birth plan. I am going to walk you through what I talk to all my clients about. There is so much information out there about birth plans and I am sick of referring my clients to templets that just aren’t extensive enough.

It’s time to plan, we all know a stork doesn’t just drop off your baby, so you need to figure out what you want for your birth.

A birth plan is necessary in hospital births so that you have a written plan for what your wishes are for you and baby.  This gives you a voice and the ability to feel empowered.  Most expecting moms have an idea of what a birth plan is and what it consists of in general terms. It is a buzz word these days. I ask my clients to start with just a bullet point list. Things they know they want and do NOT want for their birth. This is just a starting place. Even if you aren’t sure of all your options or what you want.   Don’t get over whelmed!
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Example:

Want/YES:


Do not want/NO:


This information helps you start to think of your day of birth. I then have my clients spend some time thinking about what that day looks like. Do they envision birthing at home? When would they want to go to the hospital or birthing center. How do they envision the atmosphere being when they give birth? Do you want dim lights, your favorite slippers, your own pillow? Who do you want in the room? What about a pushing positon or baby care postpartum?
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I then I go over their bullet point birth plan. It gives me a good idea of what sort of research they have done. I may point out options or areas to do more research in. I then ask them to write more details/specifics in these main stages of labor.

The main points to focus on when writing a more complete draft of a birth plan are; admitting, labor, pain management, pushing, third stage(placenta), after birth for mom, and after birth for baby.

A good sample birth plan to look at is Healthwise. This gives you a format to follow if your feeling stuck. I don't recommend this format as a final draft.

There are some things I would like to point out, that you might want to do your own research on. It will help you decide if you want to include them in your plan.  During labor not having vaginal exams done, eating/drinking during labor, your preferences for music/ lighting in the room, how much staff you want allowed in the room, clothes you want to wear, having your water broken and continuous fetal monitoring. After birth Pitocin after birth to deliver placenta, how you want to deliver the placenta (unassisted or Pitocin/care provider assisted), placenta (are you keeping it to encapsulate), delayed cord cutting (for how long), chest to chest bonding (for how long), baby led breastfeeding, medications for baby (Vitamin K shot, eye ointment, hepatitis shot, circumcision), and delaying babies first bath.

I also like to remind my clients that just because you have a birth plan; detailed or not, it might go out the window because of a medical reason that warrant intervention or your choice to medicate/use interventions. In that case you still are informed and know how to handle those decisions if they were to arise.

​Creating a birth plan insures that you don't give someone else the ability to form decisions for you and baby, you allowed them to make necessary lifesaving interventions for the best outcome or interventions you felt comfortable with.

Once I email them back with those suggestions I tell them to print what they have and bring it to their next appointment with their care provider. It is so important to talk to them about all the details. This way they know where you stand and they can tell you beforehand what they will or won’t do. You then have the choice to change providers if necessary. Most of my clients want to have a natural birth but will be in a hospital with either a Dr. or Midwife. If you are having a home birth, then it would change your birth plan and you might not feel you need one. Kristen Burgess at Naturalbirthandbaby.com has a great birth plan templet for a home birth.
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Again let the focus when creating this birth plan be about learning your options and preferences for Your birth. This gives you a voice when you talk to your care provider. Feel empowered! As always comment below if you have specific questions or email me. I would love to help you.

There are many things you can do to relieve pain and discomfort that comes with pregnancy. I like to give options that are natural and safe. I wanted to touch on some simple remedies for the common issues, you can always comment and ask about specific problems.​

First, I want to go over common carrier oil options; you use it along with a few drops of essential oil to properly dilute. For normal skin my favorite is fractionated coconut oil, other options are hempseed, coconut, grape seed and sunflower. Oily skin works best with grape seed, apricot, jojoba and sunflower. There are many levels or dry skin but these all seem to work well; avocado, rosehip and olive. With sensitive skin you should always test on a small patch of skin before using all over but these are great options; jojoba, sesame seed and apricot. For mature skin try jojoba, sesame seed, rosehip and apricot. In general, sweet almond oil can be used for all skin types but my personal favorite is fractionated coconut oil.
Just like skin types can be different and you might have to try a few different carrier oils in order to find the right one. We are all so uniquely different to you might react differently to these remedies, just be open to trying different options!
Here are common symptoms in pregnancy that essential oils can help with. Remember oils need to be re-applied every few hours or more. The good news is they don’t cost nearly as much as per application as medication/prescriptions can! Also please remember that the quality of essential oils matter. Do your research to find grades that can be ingested. I use Doterra essential oil.


Pregnancy symptom:            Oil options:                Application: 
Breasts (to soothe)                       Lavender and Geranium              3-5 drops to 1tsp of carrier oil


Breasts (sore)                                Roman Chamomile                       Same application


Constipation                                 Lemon, Peppermint, Fennel       1-3 drops undiluted on abdomen


Depression                                    Frankincense                                  3-5 drops under tongue, chase w/ water


Fatigue                                           Peppermint, Grapefruit,              1-2 drops in your palm, inhale deeply
Lemon


High Blood Pressure                   Ylang Ylang, Geranium                3 drops of Ylang Ylang in bath 2x a week


Nausea/Vomiting                        Ginger, Peppermint                     1-3 drops on ear, jawbone *


Sleep                                               Lavender                                        1-3 drops on bottoms of feet or diffuse


Swelling                                         Water, Lemon, Cypress,              3-4 liters a day, 3-5 drops oil to message


Lavender, Ginger                           legs or 3-5 drops lemon to all water


*High blood pressure- combine in 1 oz. carrier oil and rub over heart and on reflex points of left hand and foot.
*Nausea- and on reflex points of the feet or place 1-3 drops in a capsule and swallow or diffuse


I would love to hear other uses for oil in pregnancy and if you need any help with oils let me know. Oil on ladies. Take control of what you put in and on your body. You got this!

I talk with my clients about the importance of relaxation in pregnancy and ways to help them relax in labor. It can be  important  to use visualization and mantras during labor and to ease anxiety in pregnancy. I figured I would share some of my favorite visual mantras, that you can print out and hang up during your birth to create a birthing space you love. 

​Remember that this is just a part of your coping techniques and needs to be practiced! Having a birth plan (envisioning the birth process) along with other coping techniques like essential oils and movement are necessary components of birthing your way! Check out my other blogs on creating a birth plan and essential oils.

​Hope you feel empowered by these cute images. 

(You need to know your body and your menstrual cycle for many reasons.

 This blog is in no way to shame or make any female feel bad about her personal care/cycle knowledge. Just to be clear. This is also only for my ladies out there who want to be more intuitive with their cycles and the effects on general mood and health.

Making assumptions about daily choices and health habits creates a lot of grey areas. The best way to document that is from a study where they went out on the street, asking common people basic questions we SHOULD all know.

*They asked how many days are you actually capable of getting pregnant?

 Did you know it’s only two? I am assuming you know nothing in order to write this blog.

I was moved to write this blog now because of my volunteer trip to Africa. I saw firsthand how the lack of female education can create monstrous health issues.  Things that seem to be easily preventable become common.  I kept thinking about how much I wasn’t able to accomplish there as far as education. Then I started thinking about how often my friends, family and in general women in the U.S. don’t know about their cycle/ how to chart and why it’s so important.  I thought I would not make assumptions about what you know about your cycle, and help educate anyone I can. In hopes that this information can help you live a healthier, more empowered life.  You can be educated and have access to this knowledge, unlike many in Africa! Another reason I chart is to feel empowered. You are in control, you are knowledgeable and can really grow as a person. Self-development is an amazing perk of charting. You can control PMS, you can understand your mood and creative swings in order to live to your potential. Knowledge is power, right?
 
First, I want to give you some good resources for furthering your knowledge. A great resource for tips and more back story on your cycle (specially with fertility), I encourage you to check out the podcast, Birth, baby and life. Kristin also has a website,www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com which covers great topics and I refer my Doula Clients/friends to her podcast often.  By far my favorite blog and podcast for all things fertility is Fertility Friday’s.

There are also apps that you can use to store your cycle details.  I personally use P. Tracker on my iPhone. I almost cried last year when I switched from an android phone to an iPhone because I lost all my charting info! BE WARNED!

​If you want to take charting to the next level and have all your bases covered in one machine, check out the Lady Comp(get a discount) fertility monitor. Here is aYouTube video I love that breaks down how easy a lady comp monitor is (avoiding pregnancy   &“family planning”). They have an updated version called The Daysy (link for another sweet discount) and it is even easier to track with! I highly recommend you read the fertility awareness method “bible” Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It changed my health and understanding of my body!

My next goal for tracking is to usethe Fertility Friend program on my computer. That way if my lady comp dies, or I lose my cell phone data(Again) I have my back up. I know there are a lot more benefits when tracking this way but need to do more research on it personally. Maybe a future blog post if you ladies like this topic!
With that out of the way here is a breakdown of your cycle. Your cycle begins with your period (Day 1) this starts your Follicular phase (Day 1- day 14). Your first day of your cycle is the day you start your period. The average cycle is 28 days. But a healthy range can be 28-35. Day one your period begins the shedding of your uterine wall because it built up a lining in hopes of conception. When that doesn’t happen (your egg being fertilized by sperm) your body breaks down and then re builds for next month.  Fertility only happens in a window of a week. Three and ½ days on either side of your ovulation can you actually become pregnant.  There are variables with the sperm and egg but your egg only lives for 12 to 24 hours after ovulation. To know more clearly your fertile window, you can track your basil cell temp each morning before getting out of bed.

To chart you write on a calendar or app what day you start your period. You can start to chart symptoms the day you start your period, along with your amount of flow. If you’re using a basil cell thermometer you will take your temperature before you move too much or get out of bed each morning. This resting temperature tells you a lot about your cycle. You chart this by hand or use the lady comp and it stores the info for you so you can hit the snooze button. The second phase of your cycle is the Luteal phase (Day 14-1), this is when conception happens.

The next step to charting is getting more in depth with charting your fluids in the Luteal Phase. I know this gets to the uncomfortable next level for some but it can be useful information.  If your fluid is tacky you are most likely fertile/ovulating (you can compare that with your temperature) it will go from a creamy constancy to more egg whites. Dry obviously means you’re not producing eggs or don’t have the fluids to hold sperm. THUS not fertile. If your fluid is always a bit watery that can be an indication of fertility issues. I will talk more about that in a separate blog.

To break it down again…your cycle works like this….fluids build up and your temp will spike (less than 1%) when you ovulate. It sounds minor but its shows when your tracking. I promise.  Then you reach your luteal phase when you ovulate. After you ovulate your fluid is dry and your temp stays consistent and hot, you’re not fertile here. Your temp goes back down after you ovulate.  This takes you up to the first day of your period, everything built up and since you didn’t use your egg your body starts the break down all over again! 

There is more to this whole process but I hope that starts the conversation and knowledge of this subject.  I want to mention that there is a Tri-phase, its shown in a third level of your temperature (I can go more over this in another blog if you ladies are interested) Other things you need to consider in how your temperature changes; stress, medications, or a night of drinking. Also be aware that a lack of a luteal phase can indicate issues with fertility. This is part of why having a period is so important, even if you’re not wanting to get pregnant right now. Here is a bit more information on the damaging effects of long term birth control use and skipping your period.
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Another topic I love is Seed Cycling to balance your hormones and get your period back if you have Amenorrhea. This is also great for fertility. Check out my blog on Seed Cycling.
 

Click the images below for more information and discounts!

​I’ve been avoiding this post for over a month now. I’m scared to cry again. I’m scared to be taken back to how deep and dark it felt for so long after we found out. I’ve experienced loss in my life, I’ve experienced hardships and heart break but nothing prepares you for learning that you’ve lost your baby.
I kept thinking how sorry I was that my body couldn’t grow this little life. I grieved for the future that we planned for you baby, even in the short time we knew you were there. I carried you, no sign of your passing for 3 weeks past your last heartbeat. You were loved longer then you lived, we were still dreaming of your little face while your heart fell silent inside me. We had so much hope for who you would be and your part in our little family. You made your grandparents and great grandparents so happy. You had cousins SO excited to meet you. For that I am grateful.  I knew I was pregnant early on and I am glad that I knew so early. It gave me more time with you. I got to announce it to your daddy. You were loved from that very movement I found out but we waited to announce you to the “world’.
I was reminded a few times that, a friend of a friend lost their baby early on, and it is hard to un-tell people if you lose the baby. I thought at the time; “sure, that makes sense, I will play it safe and wait till we hear the heartbeat.” However, post loss, I read an article from scarymommy.com that made me realize not sharing I was pregnant took more from me.  I didn’t get to fully celebrate your life.  I want to encourage women to share their joy whenever they WANT, celebrate life even if only for a few weeks. Your baby is real and deserves to be celebrated.
I was 11 weeks and 2 days. My midwife sent me for an ultrasound because the week prior we couldn’t hear the heart beat via doppler. I was assured that’s normal since dopplers don’t work as well early on. So, I swallowed my fear, told myself it wasn’t going to be us, that this baby was meant to be born and I was just overthinking it. We took the first available appointment the next Tuesday and luckily Dave could get the morning off work to go with me. I wasn’t nervous; we had plans to announce it publicly after the appointment. I couldn’t wait another week to tell everyone, after all we were SO excited and this was just a formality because our baby was FINE. We had told family and close friends but because of the stigma of not to announce until after 12 weeks, we were waiting to hear the heartbeat first.
It’s a blur. Having two different ultrasounds, with a silent technician, knowing something was wrong right away, while Dave held my hand trying to reassure me, I started to cry. The Dr. (who had little tact or empathy) explained the baby’s heart beat had stopped around 8 weeks and that it wasn’t my fault, this happens in the first trimester often. They left the room and I thought I was going to be sick, I felt numb, the room wouldn’t stop spinning and I thought I would never stop crying. Sure, to them it was common, a part of their job.  While words like “viable” and “sustainable” were thrown at me, there is no line graph where the love you feel for life inside you increases with the number of weeks it gestates. Pregnant is pregnant. Loss is loss. I often felt like I shouldn’t be so sad because it was “early”, but we had envisioned a life.
We went to the midwife’s office from the hospital, she said all the right things, held me as I sobbed and we went home dazed. I cried for what seemed like the whole day. My face hurt and my eyes swelled. I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to eat, I wanted to punish my body for what it had done. NOTHING logical made sense. It was my body. My fault. It was my karma, but for what? I knew Dave was sad, I felt guilty for falling apart but all I could do was think that I deserved this pain for some reason. Grief is a tricky thing, especially when it’s a part of you. I don’t want to dismiss grief in other ways but it’s different when it’s a life you have had inside of you. It’s such a dark place.
I had so many friends and family reach out but I couldn’t talk to them. NOTHING anyone could say mattered, Dave’s love and logic made me mad. I am a DOULA and knew the statistics and the logic but it just didn’t matter. I feared my body, I was scared that we would never be able to have the babies we wanted. We had planned this baby, I track my cycles. I am the one that loves to educate women on Fertility Awareness Method and Family Planning. I eat all non-GMO and Organic, I work out and am healthy. This shouldn’t have happened to me (my feelings, not logic. It shouldn’t happen to ANY women). I felt like I lost not only this baby, but all possibility of having any others. Even if we could get pregnant again it would end in loss, or worse an unhealthy baby at birth. I was mad that it stole the joy of pregnancy, the joy of announcing it and having a blissful pregnancy like I had always thought I would. Now I would always be scared, scared we wouldn’t get pregnant, scared until we were past 8 weeks, then out of the first trimester and then what? Scared I would lose the baby at 4 or more months, because I know that can happen too. Before it was a faraway woman who that happened to. NOT ME. Now, it was me.
The statistic is 1 in 4 women. Which the statistic can’t be that accurate since women experience loss early on and might not have known they were pregnant or didn’t go to a Dr. So, who really knows how many women have experienced this. It makes it worse that our culture says not to share your exciting news until after 12 weeks. Those who have lost early on probably didn’t share the good or bad news with you, so it seems less common to most people. Miscarriage isn’t just a loss we feel emotionally. It happens to our bodies, inside of us. We experience it physically. To expect a predetermined level of grief from a woman who has lost a pregnancy is absurd and presumptuous
Why is that a rule? Why do we wait? Why do we have a rule that keeps us from sharing our joy? A rule that leaves us un supported through the trials of the first trimester? This is the time to share the excitement, to get advice and ask for support. It felt wrong to not share our excitement right away, people were surprised when I had shared even with close friends, so “early” on, but we couldn’t help it. I felt more connected to the women I work with, I could finally relate to them in a physical way. I had many friends texting me often asking WHEN we were going to get pregnant. I was excited to say we were in fact pregnant. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Friends and family should know, they should be excited with you and check in on you. We have gotten away from the tribe mentality but I can tell you, without this community of friends and family I wouldn’t have come out of that dark place. I wouldn’t be sharing this. They gave me space and no one pushed me but I was showered in love. I couldn’t hide myself away and continue to lie to myself that it was all my fault. I couldn’t let the irrational fear take over. I wanted to. I felt I deserved it for whatever reason but love is so much stronger. I was held every night as I cried. I was cared for by my mom while Dave had to go to work, even my dad came to stay with me. When I couldn’t speak, I had them to speak for me. I was so numb and the idea of staying that way felt better then dealing with it but I have an amazing support system who reminded me of my own light and constantly reminded me that I could grieve in any way I needed.
Now with some distance from the experience I wanted to share. I want people to understand the 12 week rule is dumb, I want women to know they can and will come out of the darkness, I want the stigma of miscarriage to go away, I want women to reach out to me or their support system if and when they want to.  I am sharing because I felt trapped in grief. I felt trapped even with support. I wanted to share because it makes our baby more real. I want to SHARE how our baby’s short life impacted us and we will never forget, because SOMETHING positive must come from the life lost. When I was ready to talk to someone, anyone who had experienced this, I turned to my birth community. I was shocked at the number of women who had similar stories. My birth community is but a sample of all the women you know, imagine how many of them have lost a pregnancy, and how many are aching to talk about it.
Miscarriage is not that most popular conversation in our culture. I get that and I will say it again, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Even more women suffer alone in the early weeks, not seeking medical attention. Because of the misconceptions around miscarriage and the 12 week rule many women suffer alone, while the world goes on unaware.
I can’t imagine now hiding your life. It makes me sad that I didn’t shout it from the roof tops the moment I found out.  It made it harder to live life and feel the pressure to act normal while you passed through my body weeks later. I felt trapped in sadness and grief but not many people in my day to day knew you were there, so I was supposed to “act” as if life was normal. I felt like I was seeking attention by sharing my loss. I didn’t want to tell people because the idea of appearing like I wanted sympathy or attention from this. I still felt like it was my fault and people would silently judge me, not knowing how common this can be. I felt guilty for moments where life seemed normal, or I laughed. It made me mad that I had to deliver you and then had complication ending in the emergency room. I was mad that what was already traumatic was made more so. I hated my body, and to make things worse, the hormones your body goes through at that time makes logic harder to grasp on to.
Let’s share our loss and gain strength from our community. If you are unsure of what to say to someone who has lost a pregnancy, it’s actually really simple. Just tell them that it is okay to feel whatever they are feeling. It is okay to grieve, and that you are there for them. Being reassured that there was no proper way to grieve this and that it would get a little easier every day helped.
An article I read shared this quote from Dr. Jessica Zucker, a psychologist who specializes in women’s health, created a line of pregnancy loss cards. My favorite reads as follows:
“Grief knows no timeline. Take all the time you need.
If you want to rest, do. If you want to scream, do. If you want to distract yourself, do. If you want to cry, stuff your face, hibernate, go on an adventure, call me morning noon and night, do.
Be gentle with yourself.”
A step forward for me is to share this with you, for you to share this with others and I am working daily to treat my body with love and to be gentle with myself.